i do it day by day i put up with the shit but how much is it really gonna pay i give and give until i cant give anymore always trying to help out a friend in need always reaching out their hands wanting more from the outside i may lead a normal life but the real story is far from that appearing on cloud nine so high bad habits constantly haunt me inhibiting my potential in more ways than one this pattern i’m starting to see must get my life on track so many things i want to accomplish in my time so i guess there’s no looking back the future is upon me here and now whether i want to face it or not if i can’t find my way, i must ask someone how i dont know all the answers like i thought i did i guess that’s just a reality of life so on my irresponsible, carefree days i’ve put a lid friends or no friends, i will suceed other people don’t define who i am but obviously new friends is what i need new environments, new people to fill my time other than my heavy work schedule and who knows, maybe a nice young man along the line i know things will work out like they’re supposed to i’ll stop worrying over the past just do what i need to do because in the grand scheme of things this is all insignificant temporary drama is all it brings
where to start? October 31, 2006
shall i start with an introduction. this here blog this is new to me.
i am casper.. well, that’s obviously not my real name.
but if i’m to really write information about me and my life’s events, who needs real names?
so look at me, actually writing a blog. about <i>myself</i>. see the thing with me is, i absolutely love to write. give me an event, a person, a book/restaurant and i can produce a 2 page AP style story, which, if i do say so myself, were fairly decent my hey-day(ie, highschool newspaper). put facts in front of me, i can make a great story.
where’s the problem you say? when it comes to writing about myself, however, i just can’t do it. i feel all these vivid emotions all day. i have wild, crazy times. i do think deep(although i appear to do just the contrary) but when it comes time to pen my feelings, i cannot. i am a mystery to myself.
i go through the grind everyday. work all day, school at night. my life is very structured and productive. i thrive on this. schedule adherence, knowing exactly where i’ll be at what times.
but what do i do with myself on those few, but precious, days that i have to myself? i’ve worked so much during the week, i really feel like i deserve a relaxing, fun day with my friends.
i go through my routine everyday, never really question it. but what am i doing it for? the paycheck i’ll have blown within a week? (i get paid biweekly). is it for the meaningless social interaction i participate in with drones of ‘corporate’ world? it’s sure as hell not for the customers i service.
as i read this blog over, i realize i have written absolute nonsense. if anyone has actually read this far, i commend you. i promise to be more interesting next time.
[insert clever title here] October 31, 2006
i still can’t believe i’m writing this. but every word i write is therapeutic in a strange way. by the way, i realize i might spell some words wrong. but as a person who is very anal about spelling, i must apoligize in advance. 
punctuation however, is not a necessity.
i am here writing here tonight because i was inspired by someone. i barely know him, but i really like him. not in a sexual way. but i find basically everything he says fascinating. i know that may sound crazy, but he is one of the very few people i’ve ever met that i found as an equal.but he’s just a smart, down to earth person.he thinks on a whole other level you know, the kind you could just hang out with for long periods without it being uncomfotable. anyways, i have to say thank you to him, for introducing me to this world. technically, he just inspired me, but same difference. i have a lot of respect for him. he gave up something that i, myself, cannot make myself do. he has a tremendous amount of talent, and i am most confidanct he will go far in life. sounds corny, but i mean every word.
my life.. i’m going to attempt to relay some events in my recent past, over the last few months. i was friends with[best] friend A for a good 5+ years.. she slept with the guy i was dating. we were no longer friends. i’ve known friend B for a few years, but since A betrayed me, B and i hung out everyday for the last 3 months.(i hope i haven’t either: a)confused you or b)bored the hell out of you) but friends A & B went out of town together last weekend, and now they’re best friends…. B no longer likes me, because A doesn’t. I know this probably sounds like a bad episode of laguna beach or something. But for me, my friends are my supportgroup. i love my family, i spend a lot of time with them, but it’s my girlfriends that i really rely on, as they do on me, when the going gets tough. but what do you do when the girl that you go out to eat with, shop with, party with, spend the night with, carpool to school with, basically do everything with, just doesn’t want to be your friend anymore? that’s kinda shitty in my book. but, i’m ‘grown’ now, i guess that’s life. all i can do is go to work everyday, go to class, and do my shit. that’s all i can do from my end. if i do that, i can move up and get out of this place, right? that’s what they say, get a degree, live a whole new life. i sure as hell hope so, because i spend all my time doing just that.
i must admit, another reason i’m on here, is because i’ve heard so many classmates talking about their blogs. i got lucky with my english class, all cool people in there. there’s a vey diverse group of people in there, but we always seem to have good discussions.,[almost] everyone contributes something thought provoking. plus i have a cool ass teacher. am i supposed to cuss on here? i guess that doesn’t matter, because that’s part of my jargon, so they can accept it.
i think i’m random typing again… it’s a bad habit.
so i guess in conclusion, as the words are no longer flowing freely enough to recant an old memory or two, i shall say i am glad i have been introduced to this blogging world. i think it will serve as an outlet for whatever creativity i may need to expel. it may be incoherent at times…. but, that’s life..(i guess)
Oh yeah, and if anyone has actually read down this far, it means you must like to read. The book ‘I hope they serve beer in hell’ by tucker max is hysterical. i’m talking about i laughed out loud for minutes at some of the parts. but it’s got sick humor. and pretty graphic. so not for the faint of heart(or something like that).
have a nice night. i know i will.
Hello world! October 31, 2006
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